Family, love, hapiness and dreams

I am suddenly filled with different kinds of emotions right now, anguish, anger, fear, hopelessness, hopefulness, happiness, gratitude, vigor...

... and it all began with an episode from the Oprah Show. It all started with an interview of the 'Trump Family' and then I resumed on watching more episodes online until I came upon these horrid stories, one after another and it woke me up, it pinched my heart and awakened my empathy (and made me appreciate the creative people behind 'Oprah' and Oprah herself for being someone who knows what she's doing and what she's talking about). We all know that the world is a beautiful place but we humans make it seem otherwise... injustice and all, but one of my realizations, after watching this certain episode about a family torturing their three youngest members, made me sick even though I'm not as soft as I look, but this really made me realize the real impact of human evil/inhumanity, it made me feel for the victims and this took what remaining hope and faith I had in me for humanity (although I'm sure I'll find a way to regain them again).

So, this episode really hit the home run... being a girl and all. I was protected, weird and I love sports so I know how to be aggressive, but seeing these girls made me know what it's like to be forced into doing something you really don't want to do, not just act like you don't want to do it or you hate it half-heartedly, but really really be forced to do something against your will and you find yourself having no way out... and to come home everyday to it, that's hell right there. I'd rather die than do that.

All I can do is pray for them and for people whose souls are tortured here, now, still... Back then, somewhere, a little part of my brain didn't care much because I thought, that like in the movies, they can escape if they want to. That's not the case since once you've been raped or got involved in human-trafficking, it'll be with you for the rest of your life, no matter what William Morris, Mark Twain or Mark Rew say about pasts and futures.

I think we are all brainwashed by the movies we see and we've been too used to seeing these cases put so casually in the paper, in the headlines, everyday-- like they're some circus headlines that we miss the point of it. I became less empathic because I see everyday, but then I realized that there's more to just being raped, being robbed, killed, bombed, it's not just a 'thing' that happens, it's not normal, it's not something that will go away by saying: 'we need to put a stop to this'...

In a way, I think living in Asia is a fortunate thing for me. Asians, the majority of Asians, tend to focus more on development, we don't think we're the best because clearly the USA has that kind of mentality, that's why Asians are more driven to prove themselves, it's in our DNA's... both a good and a bad thing. the point is, people should find a purpose. I put the A there for a reason.

So there. Yea yea yea.... No matter what happens, I think Family is family, family should empower each other to do better, be better, to protect each other and stick together. 

Lastly... it's like how weird and awesome is it that in the whole Universe (which is still expanding), a group of people were put in the same planet, the same country, the same city, and the same place... much less come from the same womb. It's just magical. If you believe in that sort of stuff...

this episode made me realize my mistakes, that I shouldnt take my own family for granted (even though I have a bunch of really hard-headed putting it nicely siblings), that looking at my own family made me feel hopeful and light... even though the pressure they're putting on me is a pain in the butt... they will protect me and will believe that I can be the best even with my wayward and adventurous ways. My guilt is that I only wish NOW that I can do the same for them because that is exactly what being human is for, what being human is all about. Being there, growing stronger in order to help other people get stronger too, I missed that point, I only cared about adventures and--- myself. Even though everybody's acting selfish and self-centered, it isn't an excuse for me to act that way too.


"Forgiveness doesnt mean that you have to accept the person back into your life, doesnt mean that you're condoning what they did or everything was okay, Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could've been any different." - Oprah Show